No weirdos, please

[whateverpedia]

[Lanfear63]

I wondered why Dan recently shaved his head.

[Dan Riffle]

You guys realize that's an NSA coded message, right? 

[David Beroff]

You guys realize that's an NSA coded message, right? 

 

Of course!  How else is one supposed to apply to Google for a job these days?

[yukon]

[Lanfear63]

 

 

 

That was a promo for a low budget time travel film. The picture is not related.

[HeySal]

 

 

I actually saw that on Craigslist.  I almost wrote to him just out of curiosity but decided I didn't want to put time into it.  Now I wish I had.  Haven't seen him on there again since............so I don't think they ever made it back. 

[Lanfear63]

I actually saw that on Craigslist.  I almost wrote to him just out of curiosity but decided I didn't want to put time into it.  Now I wish I had.  Haven't seen him on there again since............so I don't think they ever made it back. 

 

Sal: The film was called "Safety Not Guaranteed" 2012 This review shows the mock ad. I saw it, great ending. 

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1862079/

 

Trailer: 

[Princess Balestra]

Since when did handcuffs feature alongside cricket-bats an' unicycles in the clearly outrageous category?

[Lanfear63]

Since when did handcuffs feature alongside cricket-bats an' unicycles in the clearly outrageous category?

 

Princess, let me explain: The transvestite is part of a vintage, one legged, cross dressing cricket team (The T Hoppers) which is part of a league. They have strict rules about letting two legged people play so they can only use dwarves with short legs as they can't run so fast. Having a Goatee or a long beard is an attempt to make the team look more  vintage, more like WG Grace, a famous cricket player from the early 19th century. He has a stupendously long beard. It also helps that  Dwarves are short as the bowlers cannot run very fast to pitch and generally end up doing them underarm.  

 

Of course, the preferred method of transport back then was the Penny Farthing bicycle. Dwarves cannot reach to get on them, hence the unicycle is required. The bald head is of course just for aerodynamics allowing the dwarves to run a little bit faster.

 

I'm having a bit of trouble researching where the handcuffs fit in but I will get back with you on that. If anyone could help would be greatly appreciated.

[David Beroff]

Since when did handcuffs feature alongside cricket-bats an' unicycles in the clearly outrageous category?

 

 

...I'm having a bit of trouble researching where the handcuffs fit in but I will get back with you on that. If anyone could help would be greatly appreciated.

 

How the h*** else are you supposed to attach them to the blades of one's ceiling fan during sex?

[Lanfear63]

How the h*** else are you supposed to attach them to the blades of one's ceiling fan during sex?

 

Oh yes, of course. It's a cricket related thing, where you practice your Spin Balling.

[whateverpedia]

Having a Goatie or a long beard is an attempt to make the team look more  vintage,

 

You misread the ad. It doesn't say goatee, it says goat. The bald dwarf must have their own goat, a goatee is optional.

 

Hmm, just who were you fantasising about when your thoughts were on dwarves with goatees? Whoever it was, I'm sure therapy is available.

[HeySal]

Sal: The film was called "Safety Not Guaranteed" 2012 This review shows the mock ad. I saw it, great ending. 

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1862079/

 

Trailer: 

LOL - I just figured it was some nutcase.  Didn't realize that it was a referenced joke.  It ran a few years back on the Bend Oregon area craigslist.  

[Lanfear63]

You misread the ad. It doesn't say goatee, it says goat. The bald dwarf must have their own goat, a goatee is optional.

 

Hmm, just who were you fantasising about when your thoughts were on dwarves with goatees? Whoever it was, I'm sure therapy is available.

 

You are obviously not from the UK where Goat is Cockney Rhyming Slang for Goatee. (On his Boat (race..face) he has a Goat) The reference to the cricket bat means the appendage lacking pantie wearer was British, or at least knew about the culture and the sport of kings, Cricket.

 

There, debunked that one..

[whateverpedia]

The reference to the cricket bat means the appendage lacking pantie wearer was British, or at least knew about the culture and the sport of kings, Cricket.

 

There, debunked that one..

 

You debunked nothing.

 

Reference to a cricket bat does not imply they're British at all. They could just as easily be Australian, New Zealanders, Indian, Pakistani, South African, Sri Lankan, Kenyan, West Indian or any of the other nations that regularly thrash England at cricket. Therefore no reason at all to suspect they were using Cockney rhyming slang.

 

Use of the word "weirdo" also denotes a non-Cockney. If they were Cockney they'd have used the word nutter. Also nothing else in the ad uses any version of rhyming slang, so you're drawing a long bow by assuming the ad was placed by a Cockney.

 

A dwarf with a goat is kinky and in line with the "vibe" of the ad. A dwarf with a goatee reveals something very disturbing about your mind. Very disturbing indeed.

[Lanfear63]

You debunked nothing.

 

Reference to a cricket bat does not imply they're British at all. They could just as easily be Australian, New Zealanders, Indian, Pakistani, South African, Sri Lankan, Kenyan, West Indian or any of the other nations that regularly thrash England at cricket. Therefore no reason at all to suspect they were using Cockney rhyming slang.

 

Use of the word "weirdo" also denotes a non-Cockney. If they were Cockney they'd have used the word nutter. Also nothing else in the ad uses any version of rhyming slang, so you're drawing a long bow by assuming the ad was placed by a Cockney.

 

A dwarf with a goat is kinky and in line with the "vibe" of the ad. A dwarf with a goatee reveals something very disturbing about your mind. Very disturbing indeed.

 

Right, Let's start with the sentence "Bald Dwarf With Goat" Obviously indicating a preference for no hair on the head but facial hair. Saying "bald dwarf with goat" does not make sense for what you believe it says as the ad clearly goes on to state what physical accessories are required, starting in a new sentence. In the highly unlikely event that I'm wrong and the ad was not done correctly, then he obviously wanted the dwarf to provide a goat along with the rest of the team to keep the grass on the pitch short because they could not afford to have the grass cut professionally. My cricket theory remains intact. 

 

We are far more tolerant to transatlantic drawl these days so the word "Weirdo" may have seeped surreptitiously into the Queen's English.

 

As for cricket, have you kept up with the recent performances of your lump of land's teams against the British, the word slaughter comes to mind. The true masters and inventors of the sport have returned.  

 

Huzzah

[whateverpedia]

The true masters and inventors of the sport have returned. 

 

South Africa?

[whateverpedia]

Saying "bald dwarf with goat" does not make sense for what you believe it says as the ad clearly goes on to state what physical accessories are required, starting in a new sentence.

 

A "session" involving a one legged transvestite, a goat, a cricket bat, handcuffs and a unicycle (with or without a bald dwarf) is a rite of passage for Etonians and members of the MCC.

[Lanfear63]

I don't believe for one minute you've never had a "session" involving a one legged transvestite, a goat, a cricket bat, handcuffs and a unicycle (with or without a bald dwarf). What red blooded lad hasn't?

 

I remember that day well, I scored 100 runs in 8 overs. 

[whateverpedia]

I remember that day well, I scored 100 runs in 8 overs. 

 

And still have never managed to bowl a maiden over.

[David Beroff]

whateverpedia, on 06 Nov 2016 - 6:38 PM, said:

I don't believe for one minute you've never had a "session" involving a one legged transvestite, a goat, a cricket bat, handcuffs and a unicycle (with or without a bald dwarf). What red blooded lad hasn't?

 

{tentatively raises hand and nervously looks around the room}

[whateverpedia]

{tentatively raises hand and nervously looks around the room}

 

As you're American, replace the cricket bat with a baseball bat. 

[Lanfear63]

And still have never managed to bowl a maiden over.

 

I tried once, she was caught from behind in the slips. I came to the crease to make my delivery with my dibbly dobbly. It was all a case of finding the gaps. Unfortunately i had a fly slip so it was a no ball.

[David Beroff]

As you're American, replace the cricket bat with a baseball bat. 

 

I'm going to need to buy a lot more lube, then!