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HeySal

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On 12/22/2017 at 8:40 PM, HeySal said:

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.....Happy Hanukah.....or whatever you celebrate this time of year.  May the season be a bright one for you.....

And since the first day of winter was yesterday........Happy Winter, too! 

Same to you Sal :)

 

Oh yeah, that guy in the BIG house said he made it okay to  say it again so I'll say it... Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas to  everyone  :D

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1 hour ago, Dan Riffle said:

Merry Christmas, you filthy animals. 

Well, how dare you speak of Claude that way! :saint:

 

I am sure that he is still  getting over his Xmas pudding, and Ghost image, cousin, attack.

 

But that is what Antie Gym's extra large bottle of Jack Daniels is for?

 

But l would advise Claude to return the 1 year Slap and Vac, Wooster Mens Sauna and Bathhouse, gift card, as total strangers tend to slap more than ,....never mind.

B)

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4 hours ago, Dan Riffle said:

Merry Christmas, you filthy animals. 

I was going to post exactly the same thing, and you beat me to it. Apparently we are both fans of A Christmas Story.

1 hour ago, Mike Friedman said:

It's time for the Feats of Strength.

But first, the Airing Of The Grievances. My list is long, and all my grievances include the words "Dan Riffle".

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11 minutes ago, Claude Whitacre said:

I was going to post exactly the same thing, and you beat me to it. Apparently we are both fans of A Christmas Story.

But first, the Airing Of The Grievances. My list is long, and all my grievances include the words "Dan Riffle".

Do not Grieve for Dan Riffle, his untimely death should be treated with indifference, his grave should be unmarked, his casket should be a shoebox.

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Don't you just hate how TV on December 25 is full of shows from the northern hemisphere showing snow and people all dressed up in warm clothing, or gathering in front of an open fire drinking hot toddies and mulled wine, when the temperature in Perth yesterday was 305 degrees*. You read that right - three hundred and five degrees!!!!

As Bruce from the University Of Woolloomooloo put it so succinctly, "It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum Your Majesty".

 

(That's 305 degrees on the Kelvin scale. Equal to 34 degrees Celsius, or 93 degrees Fahrenheit).

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6 hours ago, whateverpedia said:

Don't you just hate how TV on December 25 is full of shows from the northern hemisphere showing snow and people all dressed up in warm clothing, or gathering in front of an open fire fire drinking hot toddies and mulled wine, when the temperature in Perth yesterday was 305 degrees*. You read that right - three hundred and five degrees!!!!

As Bruce from the University Of Woolloomooloo put it so succinctly, "It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum Your Majesty".

 

(That's 305 degrees on the Kelvin scale. Equal to 34 degrees Celsius, or 93 degrees Fahrenheit).

The same type of problem I have when I'm putting on layers to survive the cold, and the Aussies start showing  us pics of them at beaches wearing shorts and sandals. 

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16 hours ago, whateverpedia said:

Don't you just hate how TV on December 25 is full of shows from the northern hemisphere showing snow and people all dressed up in warm clothing, or gathering in front of an open fire fire drinking hot toddies and mulled wine, when the temperature in Perth yesterday was 305 degrees*. You read that right - three hundred and five degrees!!!!

As Bruce from the University Of Woolloomooloo put it so succinctly, "It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum Your Majesty".

 

(That's 305 degrees on the Kelvin scale. Equal to 34 degrees Celsius, or 93 degrees Fahrenheit).

It isn't just TV. The Bible says in Two Corinthians....

"And the wicked and slothful ones shall be banished to the southern hemisphere to wallow in kangaroo milk and koala bear feces. They will speak with a silly accent and have slow Wifi"

So...you get the terrible weather, because you are terrible people. Not "Riffle terrible" , but close.

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6 hours ago, Claude Whitacre said:

In the US, it would be "Two Corinthians walk into a church because they are so morally superior to those evil Aussies that spend all their day in bars" .

A candlelit dinner is mandatory!

6 hours ago, Lanfear63 said:

They should have looked where they are going

Pretty hard to do in our state!

But we are updating our license plate remark from "Victoria the Place to Be", to "Victoria the Place to Flee"

Only trouble is there aren't too many places left we can flee to, the US perhaps?

:P

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All this talk of scriptures has inspired me to to dig out my old copy of the Bible and re-read some of my favourite passages.

From The Book Of Mandela:

Quote

And lo, it came to pass, that at a glittering awards ceremony to commemorate excellence in televisual shows, there wandered into the ceremony Dan, a creature small of stature, grotesque of appearance and foul of smell. Dan, who normally resideth in the garden, didst set about disrupting the ceremony, waving his penis shaped hat, which he didst have custom made to fit his penis shaped head, around and ranting about his love of Amazons. Also didst he overturn the tables that had set upon them a feast of lamingtons for the dining pleasure of the invited guests. Then he proceedeth to overturn the sound system which was playing a collection of classic tunes by the gifted minstrels known as Budgie. The people developed much wrath at Dan and proceedeth they to punch him with great malice. And the Lord thy God didst curse the name of Dan and proclaimeth that for the rest of eternity that people when they encountereth Dan, they will immediately puncheth him with great fury.

Quote

The great Prophet Whatty knelt in the Temple and sayeth he to the Lord thy God, "There is an evil merchant of household appliances that people doth use to collecteth dust from their floors, who in the eyes of all godly persons is an abomination. What canst the people do to be riddeth of such a scourge on mankind?"

And the Lord thy God didst reply, "No worries, mate", for the Lord thy God is an Australian, "I'll banish him to live in Wooster and smite him with a combination of chubbiness, baldness and stupidity so that as he doth walketh down the street the people will pointeth at him and laugheth at him with great merriment. To rubbeth salt into the wound, I will make it so that the only companion he shall have will be an uppity member of the garden folk who is short of stature, grotesque of appearance and foul of smell who people doth puncheth on sight. And the only place that will giveth them sanctuary from the laughing and punching shall be a house of ill repute where sinful acts taketh place. And the name of this place shall be the Wooster Men's Bathhouse, Sauna and Feather Boa Emporium. Whilst there seeking sanctuary, the other patrons shall knoweth these two repeatedly, in between the laughing and the punching."

Strangely enough, despite the Book Of Mandela being taught far and wide for centuries, newer editions of the Bible have edited it out completely. No-one knows why. Although there was a reference to it in earlier versions of The Gospel Of Mark.

Quote

And it came to pass that the great Prophet Whatty and the Lord thy God didst gather together in a tavern in the land of Terra Australis, for that is the land that the Lord thy God hath called his own. And the Lord didst sayeth to the Prophet, "Thank Me there is one land on My creation that doth serveth a decent tankard of ale. Much better than the fermented water that people of Americastan drinketh, and the warm slop served in Angle Land. And after the effects of the ale did take shape, the Lord thy God, who has a wicked sense of humour, didst sayeth to the Prophet, "Here's a good trick. I'll goeth forward into the future and changeth the titles of movies and the lyrics to various songs so as to perplexeth Pommy Bastards who doth reside in Texas. This will causeth them to unleash a great wailing and gnashing of teeth as they won't be able to explaineth why this hath come to pass. And they shall seeketh answers for this enigma on the Tube Of You and posteth these videos on forums. Other people will see these videos and shaketh their heads in disbelief at the demented rantings of the Texan Poms.

And the Lord thy God and the great Prophet Whatty didst pisseth themselves laughing at this prank, and ordereth they another round of drinks.

By coincidence this part has also been edited from all modern versions of the Bible. This phenomenon of previously well known passages being edited out without any explanation has been named after the Book that has been most famously deleted, and is called the The Book Of Mandela Effect, or sometimes just The Mandela Effect for short.

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5 hours ago, whateverpedia said:

All this talk of scriptures has inspired me to to dig out my old copy of the Bible and re-read some of my favourite passages.

From The Book Of Mandela:

Strangely enough, despite the Book Of Mandela being taught far and wide for centuries, newer editions of the Bible have edited it out completely. No-one knows why. Although there was a reference to it in earlier versions of The Gospel Of Mark.

By coincidence this part has also been edited from all modern versions of the Bible. This phenomenon of previously well known passages being edited out without any explanation has been named after the Book that has been most famously deleted, and is called the The Book Of Mandela Effect, or sometimes just The Mandela Effect for short.

Masterfully done. You had me rolling on the floor. 

But then many men have had me while I was rolling on the floor.

Beat you to it.

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7 hours ago, whateverpedia said:

And it came to pass that the great Prophet Whatty and the Lord thy God didst gather together in a tavern in the land of Terra Australis, for that is the land that the Lord thy God hath called his own. And the Lord didst sayeth to the Prophet, "Thank Me there is one land on My creation that doth serveth a decent tankard of ale. Much better than the fermented water that people of Americastan drinketh, and the warm slop served in Angle Land. And after the effects of the ale did take shape, the Lord thy God, who has a wicked sense of humour, didst sayeth to the Prophet, "Here's a good trick. I'll goeth forward into the future and changeth the titles of movies and the lyrics to various songs so as to perplexeth Pommy Bastards who doth reside in Texas. This will causeth them to unleash a great wailing and gnashing of teeth as they won't be able to explaineth why this hath come to pass. And they shall seeketh answers for this enigma on the Tube Of You and posteth these videos on forums. Other people will see these videos and shaketh their heads in disbelief at the demented rantings of the Texan Poms.

And the Lord thy God and the great Prophet Whatty didst pisseth themselves laughing at this prank, and ordereth they another round of drinks

 

7 hours ago, whateverpedia said:

By coincidence this part has also been edited from all modern versions of the Bible. This phenomenon of previously well known passages being edited out without any explanation has been named after the Book that has been most famously deleted, and is called the The Book Of Mandela Effect, or sometimes just The Mandela Effect for short.

Highly entertaining, you got that from the Aussie translation of the King James Bible. Proof that it has been changed. I praise your meticulous research and looking forward to you applying the same high standards to your other posts. Using the Bible Code and advanced mathematics I was able to decipher a hidden reference passage to your appearance in these end times from the Book of Revelation. 

"And so it came to pass, a child of unknown gender was spawned from the loins of Dr Jackal and his mistress in the holy years of the 1960's. This took place in the lowlands of the Earth The child was named Whatti (Short for whatthefuckisthat). Growing up, the child was much coveted by the teachers of the day due to the skillful writings and insights that would flow from his/her quill (biro's in Australia were unknown in those days) The subject matter mostly consisted of comparing one washing product to another, but that was not the point. It was the skillful and eloquent way it was written  and using such descriptive words such as "And" and "The"  The teachers though, had high hopes for the child and tried to instill that if the subject matter were more interesting then great recognition in literary circles would follow.

Alas it was not to be for  Whatti took a different path and for many years went forth and aimlessly explored the wastelands and bars of his homeland. It was not until many years later that the prophecy of the talent was finally fulfilled.It came to pass that the interweb was created and Whatti first started frequenting Pigeon and Duck fanciers forums expounding the vast knowledge that had been accumulated over the years. It was a natural progression that it would soon switch to the backwater Off Topic sections of interweb marketing forums where Whatti met literary giants like Lanfear63, Claude Whatacre and Frank Falcone. Whatti was slowly encouraged to move away from the product comparisons, ducks and pigeons posting (which were not going down so well) and move on to talk about any old crap. Finally, the potential had been realised, the prophesy of the teachers fulfilled. Praise the Lord."

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