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9 Oscar winners and 5 nominees


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I've just been informed by my contact on The Whattys Committee that there are nine (9) Oscar winners and 5 nominees who have made the transition to TV in order to try and get their hands on the most prestigious of awards handed out by the entertainment industry.

Nominations are about to be announced so stay tuned. Your humble reporter will be posting them as each category is announced.

Winners will be announced as per usual on January 26. Once again the Spartan Marketing Academy (SMA) forum has secured worldwide exclusive rights to the ceremony by outbidding all of the other global media outlets. The actual amount paid is confidential, however it is rumoured to be "several tens of billions of dollars".

You humble reporter contacted SMA to clarify the matter and spoke to Grand Poobah Mike Friedman. Mr Friedman would not divulge the actual amount invested, however he did shed some light on the rationale behind the decision to invest the huge amount involved. "Look,' said Mr Friedman, "Every year The Whattys Awards brings in over 320 billion unique visitors to SMA. This generates ad revenue of several trillion dollars. You'd be mad not to make an investment like that. Even arch boneheads like Dan Riffle would have made the same decision. It's a no brainer for someone as intelligent, wise and drop dead handsome such as myself." Indeed.

We now cross live as the first nominees are about to be announced.

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Comedy:

Russian Doll (Netflix)
Sex Education (Netflix)
After Life (Netflix)
Veep (HBO)
You (Netflix)
Fleabag (BBC/Amazon)
Utopia (Dreamland outside Australia) (AuBC)
The Good Place (CBS/Netflix)
The Marvellous Mrs Maisel (Amazon)
Frayed (AuBC/Sky)
The Kominsky Method (Netflix)
No Activity (Stan/CBS)
The End Of The F***ing World (Channel 4/Netflix)
Catastrophe (BBC)

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Best Actress:

Jessica Barden (The End Of The F***ing World)
Sarah Kendall (Frayed)
Kirsten Bell (The Good Place)
Toni Collette (Unbelievable)
Phoebe Waller-Bridge (Fleabag)
Gillian Anderson (Sex Education)
Natasha Lyonne (Russian Doll)
Rachel Brosnahan (The Marvelous Mrs Maisel)
Michaela Coel (Black Earth Rising)
Jacki Weaver (Perpetual Grace Ltd)
Regina Hall (Black Monday)
Julia Louis Dreyfuss (Veep)
Olivia Coleman (The Crown)
Meryl Streep (The Laundromat)
 

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Best Actor:

Ted Danson (The Good Place)
Paul Giamatti (Billions)
Don Cheadle (Black Monday)
Brian Cox (Succession)
John Goodman (Black Earth Rising)
Ben Kingsley (Perpetual Grace Ltd)
Russel Crowe (The Loudest Voice)
Rami Malek (Mr Robot)
Sacha Baron-Cohen (The Spy)
Jared Harris (Chernobyl)
Michael Douglas (The Kominsky Method)
Aaron Paul (El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie)
Jonathan Pryce (The Two Popes)
Gary Oldman (The Laundromat)

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I propose that the Whatty's become more progressive this year and open a new category for erotic adult features, sub sections could also be considered like best Fetish, BBW etc. Ever since "Whanton Whitacre Productions" ceased making it's features, the competition is wide open. I would expect to see: "This Aint The Marvelous Mrs Maisel" amongst them.

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12 minutes ago, Lanfear63 said:

I propose that the Whatty's become more progressive this year and open a new category for erotic adult features, sub sections could also be considered like best Fetish, BBW etc. Ever since "Whanton Whitacre Productions" ceased making it's features, the competition is wide open. I would expect to see: "This Aint The Marvelous Mrs Maisel" amongst them.

I'll leave that one up to you. Perhaps you could name them in Claude's honour and call them the Jerkoffs.

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I so love how the Whattys reward what is gowin' down up top cinematically.

Like Tarantino said, "bash me out prone with a sledgehammer till John Travolta dances o'er my dream horizon like a quivering saint of filth."

Yeah, so I took that quote to heart.

An' I ain't looked back till mebbe it was time to switch ovah.

As a yogah gal I can figure the 180 degree head rotation deal like in the Exorcist — but when I'm down undah, my inner romantic would rather cinemagoers got a loada my hair jus' playin' out all natchrl.

O for finery of locks to be as Cthulhu's momentarily powerless tentacles thwapping in unison against virgin bedsheets ...

Prolly I should start writin' for fortune cookies.

All I know is, no myoosical movie evah gonna feature Moi center stage as Vocal Nirvana Gal bcs I the singin' equivalent of Godzilla rippin' your guts out with fuckin' fish hook.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 1/16/2020 at 11:25 PM, Wunderkind said:

No love for Maggie Siff from Billions?

No. Her character is the one flaw in Billions. It just doesn't make any sense for her to be a loyal employee of her husband's arch enemy and for both Chuck and Axe to be OK with that.

She does look good in her dominatrix gear though.

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