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Two short videos with a similar theme. NSFW  

A man is out duck hunting, no luck all day and just as he's about to quit he see's one and shoots it. The Duck falls into a farmers yard. The man climbs over a fence to retrieve it. A big burly farmer

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A man is out duck hunting, no luck all day and just as he's about to quit he see's one and shoots it. The Duck falls into a farmers yard. The man climbs over a fence to retrieve it. A big burly farmer comes out of the house and says hey, get off my property. The man explains that he's only there to collect his duck that he shot. My property, my duck says the farmer... The argument rages on for a while. 

Eventually the farmer says ok, we will settle this country style. We will kick each other in the groin until one of us can take it no more. That will decide the winner of this argument. Ok says the man. I will start says the farmer and gives the man an almighty kick in the crotch. The main writhes around screaming in agony for about half an hour. Eventually the pains subsides and the man gasps..ok, its your turn. The farmer says..You can keep the duck 

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Yes, Victoria, Au is enforcing 4 metre distancing measures, limiting crowds to 100, and closing down practically everything, except Social Security which has lines stretching for several blocks, and is breaking both,

:rolleyes:

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29 minutes ago, Tagiscom said:

Yes, Victoria, Au is enforcing 4 metre distancing measures, limiting crowds to 100, and closing down practically everything, except Social Security which has lines stretching for several blocks, and is breaking both,

:rolleyes:

I did not get the punchline

Riffle gets the punchline

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16 minutes ago, Lanfear63 said:

I did not get the punchline

Riffle gets the punchline

It is more irony than punchline, or putting out the fire with gasoline, type deal, We are supposed to stay 4 metres apart and limit growds to 100, neither is being shown in long lines at the SS offices across AU.

5 minutes ago, whateverpedia said:

He posted that because he thinks the precautionary measures being implemented are a joke.

I think that some measures are ridiculous, others are overreacting, and others are justified.

ScoMo would have been better saying the beachgoers and partiers are scum and to stop it, not hammer AU.

But the ASX200 is a golden opportunity in the making, so l will happily get a takeaway coffee and see how much it drops.

:P

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3 hours ago, whateverpedia said:

I breaking news it has been confirmed that COVID-19 has tested positive for being infected with Harvey Weinstein.

 

(See Mark, that's how you do it).

If you watch a Whitacre presentation all the way through, you get Claudevid 19

Somebody stop me please

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1 hour ago, Lanfear63 said:

If you watch a Whitacre presentation all the way through, you get Claudevid 19

Somebody stop me please

That was "Claudette - 19" in the 70's, but it mutated, well, umm.

:o

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After getting all of the Pope’s luggage loaded into the limo – and he doesn’t travel light – the chauffeur notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

“Excuse me, Your Holiness,” says the chauffeur, “Would you please take your seat so we can leave?”

“Well, to tell you the truth,” says the Pope, “they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I’d really like to drive today.”

“I’m sorry but I cannot let you do that. I’d lose my job! And what if something should happen?” protests the chauffeur.

“There might be something extra in it for you,” says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the chauffeur gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

“Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!” pleads the worried chauffeur, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

“Oh, dear God, I’m gonna lose my license,” moans the chauffeur.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

“I need to talk to the Chief,” he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

“So bust him,” says the Chief.

“I don’t think we want to do that, he’s really important,” said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed,” All the more reason!”

“No, I mean really important,” said the cop.

The Chief then asked, “Who ya got there, the Mayor?”

“Bigger.”

“Governor?” The Chief asked.

“Bigger.”

“Well,” said the Chief, “Who is it?”

“I think it’s God!” the cop exclaimed.

“What makes you think that?”

“Well for one thing, he’s got the Pope as a chauffeur.”

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In breaking news it has been confirmed that Prince Charles, the heir to the throne of England, has tested positive for COVID-19 after a meeting with Prince Albert of Monaco, who has also tested positive.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-25/prince-charles-tests-positive-for-coronavirus/12090930

Now, you might be asking yourself. "Self, why is Whatty posting a serious news item in a thread dedicated to jokes?"

My reply is if you can't see the humour of someone catching a disease after having contact with a prince albert then.....

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On 3/25/2020 at 1:53 PM, whateverpedia said:

In breaking news it has been confirmed that Prince Charles, the heir to the throne of England, has tested positive for COVID-19 after a meeting with Prince Albert of Monaco, who has also tested positive.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-25/prince-charles-tests-positive-for-coronavirus/12090930

Now, you might be asking yourself. "Self, why is Whatty posting a serious news item in a thread dedicated to jokes?"

My reply is if you can't see the humour of someone catching a disease after having contact with a prince albert then.....

Edit: Prince Charles wore the Coronavirus.

 

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Talking of laughs, this is a tweet from someone well known that just went out. I wonder if you can guess who it is.

"The LameStream Media is the dominant force in trying to get me to keep our Country closed as long as possible in the hope that it will be detrimental to my election success. The real people want to get back to work ASAP. We will be stronger than ever before!" 

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3 hours ago, Lanfear63 said:

Talking of laughs, this is a tweet from someone well known that just went out. I wonder if you can guess who it is.

***This content has been blocked by the state government of Victoria, as it constitutes, fun, relaxing and staying positive. Have a nice day!***

Sorry Mark cannot read it, going out for a coffee, cake and newspaper these days is punishable by death.

One of those running dog things?

:rolleyes:

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