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It's time for a laugh

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SEMrush

1 hour ago, Lanfear63 said:

The Evil Vampire Count never owned a ruler due to Transylvania taking Draconian Measures 

Yes, every time l go out, and get a decadent coffee, and imperialist dog cake, and evil paper, it is anyone's guess how long it will be until the goon squad shows up to give me the boot.

Today l got away with almost 2 hours, before one shopping ctr staff, said that a new rule came in, and no one was allowed to sit on our bench seats anymore.

Then l went to another section, with 2 police officers walking past, and a few more security people, none gave a s...t.

 

It is probably the new rule, they are trying to push that two people in public is the limit, and anymore will be fined, and probably put up against a wall with a cigarette?

The person in this video looking like our health minister in my state is purely,.......umm, never mind!

B)

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Two guys who live across the street from each other and share a mutual hatred of each other.

One of them discovers an old lamp and after giving it a polish a genie appears.

"I hereby grant you three wishes, but think carefully on what you wish for as I will grant your neigbour who you hate double whatever you get", says the genie.

For his first wish the guy asks for a luxury mansion fitted with all the latest mod cons.

SHAZAM! The guy finds himself in a luxury mansion with all the latest gadgets and technology. He looks across the street and see his hated neighbour now has a mansion twice the size.

For his second wish the guy asks to be surrounded by a dozen beautiful women.

SHAZAM! He finds himself surrounded by twelve of the most beautiful women on earth. He looks across the street and sees his neighbour is surrounded by two dozen of the world's most beautiful women.

"Time for your third and final wish", the genie informs the guy.

The guy thinks long and hard on this before finally saying, "I wish that one of my testicles was removed".

 

 

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Travolta was always susceptible to viruses, as a kid he was "The Boy In The Plastic Bubble" and each year the flu would strike. For him it was "The Killing Season". His parents just thought he was taking the "Michael" . Eventually he decided to leave it and moved to a place of his own which he painted with "Primary Colors". Driving his car one day he had a "Blowout" The cops thought this "Phenomenon" of a bang was him firing a gun. He had a "Face Off" with them over it and they had to "Carrie" him off to the station. He told them "I am Wrath" and "The Punisher" but they realised it was just a "Basic" misunderstanding and he had a "Perfect" record. "A Civil Action" against him  was dropped. Eventually he settled  down with "The Generals Daughter"

Of course this is all "Pulp Fiction"

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I went to drive my super sexy 2017 Electric Blue Prius to the store today. !00% dead. I suppose someone will Guffaw at that and say serve you right for getting a battery car (although it's a hybrid). It had been sitting there for 2 weeks, not been out. A neighbour jump started it for me but after 5 minutes 0r so it died again. Perhaps the standard engine battery is expired but also the main battery is also uncharged. I should have taken it for a drive every other day.  Ahhh, the pitfalls of getting 50 to the gallon.

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