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whateverpedia

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An atheist is out walking in the forest. Such a stunning day! The green trees! The blue skies! The bubbling brook! The rustling of the ... actually what is that rustling? He looks around to see a huge grizzly bear emerge from the bushes just behind him. In an instant, the bear has covered the ground between them, knocked the atheist to the ground and is just bringing his mighty jaws down with the clear intent of crushing the atheist's skull like a grape. All the atheist can do is to moan out a strangled, "Oh my God".

Time stops. The bear freezes. The forest falls silent, as the clouds part and a bright light shines right down upon him. A voice now comes from the heavens: "You! You deny my existence for decades and ridicule all others who say I exist. And now, only when you need me to save you, do you even utter my name with anything other than derision. Can you really expect me to help you? And if I do, can I count on you to be a believer for the rest of your days?"

The atheist looks directly into the light and says, "Lord, you're right. Even in these extreme circumstances, it would be hypocritical of me to become a Christian, but ... but perhaps you could at least make the bear a Christian?" There is a pause, as God in his heaven reflects. And then He speaks again: "Very well."

The light disappears, and again the brook bubbles, the rabbits run free and life resumes as normal. And now the bear stills his crushing jaws to bring his massive paws together, bow his head and say, "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive, and for which I am truly thankful."

(source - https://www.smh.com.au/national/queen-s-man-held-kerr-s-hand-down-the-path-to-pulling-the-trigger-on-whitlam-20200717-p55d4p.html)

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From The Shovel, Australia's second favourite source of satirical fake news (after The Herald Sun):

Quote

Trump supporters are slashing their tyres in support of the President’s Goodyear boycott

...

Sally Annesley from North Carolina said she was sick of ‘unAmerican’ companies like Goodyear meddling in politics and would replace the tyres on her Toyota with a more patriotic brand like Yokohama.

“Real patriots drive with Yokohamas” she said.

https://www.theshovel.com.au/2020/08/20/trump-supporters-slashing-tyres-goodyear-boycott/

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5 hours ago, whateverpedia said:

From The Shovel, Australia's second favourite source of satirical fake news (after The Herald Sun):

https://www.theshovel.com.au/2020/08/20/trump-supporters-slashing-tyres-goodyear-boycott/

Maybe you should fly over to the US and put a fake postal vote in for Biden, l am sure you will both have a lot to discuss, (on his good days)....! :P

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More from The Shovel:

Quote

Donald Trump has used the Republican National Convention to assure voters that he will clean up the mess and chaos that has become part of everyday life under the current president.

https://www.theshovel.com.au/2020/08/31/trump-vows-to-end-violence-and-destruction-thats-become-rampant-under-current-president/

Quote

QAnon – the shadowy figure supposedly protecting the world against a cabal of Satan-worshipping paedophile celebrities who are trafficking children for their blood – is actually Nigel Grintly, a 34 year-old unemployed computer programmer from Iowa who lives in his mother’s basement.

The 34 year-old said he was surprised people believed he was a secret operative with the ear of the president, when the reality was he hadn’t left Iowa since that time he competed in a Dungeons and Dragons competition in 2008.

He said he would be open to overthrowing the illuminati, but pointed out that his Mum had asked him to clean up his room first.

https://www.theshovel.com.au/2020/09/01/qanon-still-living-with-his-mum/

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